I just realized...

I know what I've been looking for in a movie. MASS SUICIDE! It's the only thing I have never seen in a movie. I would be so happy if I could see it just once. Then my life would be complete, well not really.

I wanted to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving. I'm gonna start working on a holiday project, just to post here. It's probably going to be a youtube video. I hope to figure out what I'm going to do soon, just so I have enough time to finish it.

Good Night!

Magazines anyone?

Wow, I feel really useless. My ideas compared to everyone else are so dull. I feel like I don't really belong in any magazine things.

Last tuesday, we did layout designs for the TEAse me article. I like doing that because it involved art and it was really fun. I liked the ideas that we have come up with, especially the first image. I thought it was a really cute and interesting idea. It's an article that I would definitely read.

Last friday, we worked on layouts for the FOB and Table of contents articles. I did the front of book. I'm glad that I've learned not to stair step writing. I feel that it will be useful to me in life. I liked the idea of incorporating an arrow into the pages. It kind of helps the page to flow.

Today, we worked to finish the final ideas for the front of book and table of contents design. The final product is going to be great in my opinion. The pages just flow so well in my head.

We also worked on colors today. I like the color scheme. I'm not too excited about the magenta. I feel that it doesn't suit the winter, even with the blue. But, I guess it can't be as bad as some other things. At least the entire magazine isn't pink....

A project I have in mind....

I wanted to start working on a project that I ended a while ago. It was a short play but I really didn't have a finished plot for it. So it pretty much went downhill from there. But I was thinking about what we were talking about in STAC today, and it really gave me inspiration to finish what i started. If anyone knows anyways to help me that would be really great. I want to start once December rolls around, since I'm still working on my novel (which I am incredibly behind in). I don't really mind if my novel is crappy as long as i can finish it. I can always edit later.


The play I am wanting to work on is based on a Japanese song called Hitobashira Alice or Alice Human Sacrifice. It is an original song by someone on a Japanese website called niconicodouga. It's very bloody and it's a huge inspiration to me. It would be a great feat for me to do something like this.

The video with the song also helps to tell the story, and the art in the video is amazing. There are many different versions, but I will post my favorite here. This is also for my reference so I have a place for me to find them (they'll get lost in my youtube favorites.....)


the Song:

It's Magazine Time!

Wow, I really didn't think this magazine thing would be this much fun. I really had my doubts about it, since I've really never liked magazines in the first place. Maybe I'm just reading the wrong magazines....

At first, i didn't think I would like the magazine workshop. The first workshop didn't really interest me that much. I wasn't really looking forward to it and since all we did was brainstorm, it wasn't very exciting for me. But the next workshop was more fun for me. We actually got to do some layouts and it really made me feel useful. I really wish I could've come up with some more ideas though. But it's hard for me since magazines aren't my forte.

Just one more thing. I was wondering if there were any guys who would want to write a few book reviews with me. Since I read really girly books, i thought it would be better if we got some variety. If anyone would like to work with me, please tell me. The books need to have some wintery aspect to them. The help would be much appreciated since I'm sure no guy is going to read the same books as a girl. For the most part....

Wow

I can't believe that it's already been three months. It feels like school only started about a week ago. I've learned so much since I walked through the doors of that classroom. I've learned about art and other things as well as myself. I'm still unsure as to what I'm meant to be, but I've learned to be a more confident person.

When we first did improve, it was the first time that I actually acted in front of people. Acting with Becky is really fun, but since it was only my first time, I was really unsure of what to do. But being actually able to act in front of people really gave me confidence.

I also love the art we do. It's great not actually having to paint objects. It was fun when we painted with music. I thought that the music really gave me inspiration and it really showed me how much I love saturated colors!

And just on friday, I realized how much I have changed. When we talked about how losing a parental figure helps a person to change, I really understood it. When I lived with my father, I felt as if I couldn't really be myself. He wasn't exactly the best person to have as a father either. I feel as if I never actually had a father figure in my life. But when we left him, even though I somehow felt alone, I actually felt that I could be myself. I spoke out more and did more art. I really began to sing a lot. I feel like I'm actually able to spread my wings without him pushing them back down.

But there is one thing I fear. Lizy said that she is bored with her art. I'm not bored with my art now, but I fear that somewhere in the future that I ma become bored with it. I think that's why I have so many goals in life. I want to do this and I want to do that. I think it's because I fear that one things that I love the most will somehow become second to something else. I really don't know that if I choose one thing that I will someday regret it. I think that's my biggest fear.

But even so, I hope that maybe something will change this fear. I don't want to choose something that will become boring. I really don't even know where I want my life to go. But with time, I think that maybe if I can become a stronger person, I won't have to worry so much.

Lacrimosa

So I decided to write lyrics for another song while procrastinating from doing other work. I decided to do a song on a whim. I wrote these really quick. The song is from a band called Kalafina and they are from Japan. The name of the song is Lacrimosa. The song is the ending theme to an anime called Kuroshitsuji, or Black Butler. It is a great song and it is really beautiful. I love it.

I will post a video with a song at the end of the post.

Japanese Lyrics (Romanized)


Kurayami no naka de mutsumiau
Zetsubou to mirai o
Kanashimi o abaku tsukiakari
Tsumetaku terashiteta

Kimi no kureta himitsu o shirube ni shite
Aoi yoru no shizukesa o yuku

Lacrimosa
Tooku kudakete kieta
Mabushii sekai o mou ichido aishitai
Hitomi no naka ni yume o kakushite
Yogoreta kokoro ni
Namida ga ochite kuru made

Maboroshi no basha wa yami o wake
Hikari no aru hou e
Yume to iu wana ga boku tachi o
Homura e izanau

Sora no ue no mujihi na kamigami ni wa
Donna sakebi mo todoki wa shinai
Lacrimosa

Bokura wa moesakaru takigi to nari
Itsuka sono sora o yakitsukusou

Lacrimosa
Koko ni umarete ochita
Chinureta sekai o osorezu ni aishitai
Yurusareru yori yurushi shinjite
Yogoreta chijou de
Namida no hibi o kazoete

English Translation

The moonlight, which exposes sadness
Coldly illuminated
Despair and the future
That are friendly with each other within the darkness

Turning the secret that you gave me into a sign
I go through the silence of the pale night

Lacrimosa
Once more, I want to love the glaringly bright world
That shattered in the distance and vanished
Hide your dream in your eyes
Until tears come falling
Onto your sullied heart

The phantom carriage parts the darkness
And goes toward where the light is
The trap known as dreams
Lures us toward the flames

No shout of any sort will reach
The merciless gods above the sky
Lacrimosa…

We’ll be the blazing firewood
And seem to burn away the sky someday

Lacrimosa
I want to fearlessly love the blood-soaked world
That I was born in
Rather than being forgiven, forgive and believe in me
Count the number of lachrymose days
On the sullied earth



My english lyrics

In the moonlit night, the sadness is lightened by dark
brought to life by the endless white light
The desperate future, struggling from deep within
There is no use, you must give in.

The secret, you gave to me, turns into a sign in my heart
The silence from the night is too much for me to handle

Lacrimosa, oh once more, I want to know how to love this world
The one that shattered into the dark, and vanished from me, out of my sight
Those dreams that are in your eyes,
all that they can do is hide
Until every last one of your
tears falls on your heart,
they cannot be awakened.

The phantom in the night and the horse driven coach
they lead you into the light
the trap that is your dreams will never let you leave your mind
as it lures you into the blue flames

If we shout, nothing comes. No sound will ever reach anything. Someone!
We can try to reach the gods, but nothing will come of it
Lacrimosa

We are the burning firewood, and they are the ones kindling the flames
But if we can try we can set the sky ablaze

With this pain I want to be loved and caressed , undying
by the world that is stained in blood, the one that I was meant to be in
I know you want to be free, from the guilt that keeps you barred
So I will sing, sing you to sleep.
Through the tears that you cry
You know you'll be forgiven.



This is a repost. I forgot one section of the lyrics so I had to go back and fix it. It is actualy better now in my opiion.

I never knew I could

So it is eight fifteen right now. At midnight I began writing. I'm amazed at myself I was able to write 848 words in 28 minutes. I wrote half my daily word count in a half an hour. I really started to think "I can do this! This is EASY!" But it's only day one, so maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. All that I know right now is that I feel extremely confident and I think I can do it.

I know a moment before I started writing, I was really scared. But now that I've started, I'm really excited. I wait for every moment that I can work, and then I just write. And it's great not having to care about the quality and just being able to get the ideas ou of my head. I really think that if I can finish this project, my confidence will sky rocket. I already feel as if I'm on the top of the world.


Oh yeah, I also wante to talk about Kontroll. It was an amazing movie and it literally blew my mind. All the small details they added inspired me to so much. To be able to make a movie like that is amazing. I just have one thing to say though. When we were discussing the movie, everyone said that she had angels wings in the end of the movie. But I think they were shaped more as fairy wings. They didn't have the same look as angel wings, so I think they may have been going for a different feel for it.

Bye bye